Joybird Review.

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

couch review online furniture assembly ship
Back in 2012, a bell tolled:  Mike and I were to purchase our first couch together.  Until then, we had new-to-us ones and prior to us meeting, I had one that was given to me by friends of my “adopted” grandparents Bob and Shirley.

That particular one had rarely been touched and while it was incredibly sturdy and well built, it was not ummm, my particular style.

I proceeded to stitch black faux fur over the body and covered each cushion in a different color fabric, making simple covers much like for pillows.  It was fun.  It was weird.  I’m weird.

That couch lasted me, wow, a while and moved with me four times, receiving new cushion covers in green.  I’ll always appreciate not having to dole out cash for pricey furniture on a theater person’s budget.

Hailey arrived and immediately made great use of it.  A bit later, Mike and I met and Captain Destroyer of All Things (said with love) moved in, bringing his beloved chunk of couch-loving Labrador Samson with him.  Heh.

Heady days, heady days.

Obviously the couch took a beating, therefore died a slow, painful death.  Out to the alley it went one day, a sad day.  I was forlorn.

Following then, as I mentioned, were free couches that also did not survive the fun.

Next stop?  Ikea! 

I could do a whole series of Hailey On Things but then I'd be sobbing.

In typical Mike fashion one was chosen rapid-fire, given a quick sit and sprawl test, a check to ensure three of us would fit (sadly Samson was no longer with us), and off to the register we went.

Time elapsed, Ikea delivered, and so began our first big assembly-together test, er task.

We nearly killed each other.  What is it about assembling furniture that gets people bent?

A year later we moved here, Ikea couch in tow.  It worked too (whew), it fit, we were cozy and happy, three peas in an Ikea pod. day last year either Mike sat on it funny or he and Finn were goofing around as they do and something crunched.

Mike shot me a look of utter panic, like ohhhh crap, we need a new couch now and not only is that expensive but oh no where from and I don’t wanna go through that assembly BS again.  Yes so sheer, utter panic.

After much discussion, perusing the interwebs, researching and reading, we bizarrely took a leap of faith to order online.  That’s nuts, I know.  We opted for Joybird.

This is soooo unlike me it’s ridiculous.  Important things like sheets and towels and furniture, ya know, ya gotta feel and touch and test them!  I mean, my goodness, how do you buy a freakin' couch without freakin' sitting on it first!?!??  Jeez louise.

I was the one panicking now.

Why’d we choose Joybird?  Several reasons:

  • First, I liked several of their designs.  That’s priority one, hahaha, well ok, tied for first.  
  • They had a sale going on.  
  • The reviews I could find, not on their website because of course those are five star biased, were generally better than some others.  
  • Their return policy was workable.  
  • They plant trees to offset what they do.

Still, I was panicking.  What if it’s not comfortable?  That truly is priority one.  What if it sucks?!?

We went with the Hyland sectional (no longer available).  It wasn’t my first choice but it was Mike’s and I wanted him to be happy about this.  It’s a freakin’ expensive purchase!  He was very much struggling with the grown-up-person couch concept too, a nice one that we couldn’t beat to hell, get dirty, drop pizza on.

So we ordered online the day after Thanksgiving.  Estimated delivery was the Week of Becky, early February.

Yikes.  That’s a loooong panic time.

So you hit the order button and either spin the wheel of chance on a fabric outright or select “choose later” and they send samples, after which you report back your choice.  They ship fabric swatches of every single fabric they offer, after hassling them a few times for it, so you can at least get a three inch by three inch feel for what you’re doing.

Next, you get a series of quaint automated hipster-y emails updating you on its progress.  In the meantime, panicking.

Especially since we bought a large new rug from them too, the Lula (no longer available).  It arrived December-ish/January-ish but we wouldn’t be able to fully examine it until the old couch was out.  Joybird refused to extend the return window so we had to kinda sorta finagle a twisted unroll to make sure it was ok, the best we could.

Eventually the Joybird couch shipped and was train-ing its way from Mexico.  Then by local trucking.  The delivery included set up new and remove old which pleased Mike tremendously.  hahaha

So the couch was in and Mike was, was weird.  He didn’t know what to make of it.

“What do you think, babe,” he queried with a warbly tone, not sure if he should be proud or, or what.

I pored over it like a vulture.  “It’s nice babe...well, except for that seam, oh and that pucker and uh that bulge and omg!, you can see all the holes in the legs where the screws go, that’s awful!”

Dead silence.

“But it looks nice.  Nice design.  What do you think?”

“Um, I like it.  I guess?  I dunno?”  He seemed befuddled.

End of discussion.

So yeah, major MAJOR design fail, you can blatantly see the holes for the screws that attach the legs to the couch.  It’s horrible!  What terrible decision making.  Wow, so bad.  SO bad.

But yeah too, I was reeeaally disappointed in the build quality.  Bad seams, bumpy foam, threads sticking out, cushions didn’t fit properly, two were overhanging.  Lumps, bumps, and bad seams.   Joybird, c'mon.
Call me picky all you want, this was poor.  Yes, I took a load of photos.  Because it was bad.  Bad.

This passed an inspection?!  It did not meet my standards for a couch even in a lower price range.

And wow, it is firm.  Bouncy bouncy sproingy firm.

Granted our Ikea couch was pillowy and I like soft so this was, wow, wow.  And taller than the dimensions stated online, like tripping hazard tall; the standard height is 18”, this is like 20.  It feels oddly tall.  I feel extra short.

If I had sat on this in a store, I would have moved right onto the next one.  Mike likes firm so he was pffft, fine.  I think.  He seemed weird about it, like he was trying to convince himself it was fine.

Buyers remorse was creepin’ in, for me anyway.

A few weeks pass and an email survey arrives.  “Are you as tickled as we are?”  Nope, I replied, lots of not tickled going on here.  I sent photos.

Surprisingly I received a response from a human requesting the more photos I mentioned having.  I thought maybe they’d say oh, thanks for letting us know, good luck.  Or maybe at best lop a few payments off.

Instead they decided to put through an order for an entirely new replacement couch saying this didn’t meet their standards either.

Huh.  Well.  Ok then.  Mike was bummed, he was hoping for a price reduction.

This new Joybird couch arrived in less than a month.  It’s better but the legs are still a design disaster.

wood coffee table and new Joybird Hyland sectional
Doh, Finn!
We’ve had some cushion zipper popping open problems.  The cushions still fit a little funny, it creaks already in a couple spots but overall it is improved over the first one.

living room view with Joybird Hyland sectional and new coffee table
So it's the Hyland sectional, a Lula rug, and yes, a new coffee table from Amazon.*  Dressy, eh?
Would I order a couch online again?  Nope.  Nope I would not.  I am too much of a picky quality stickler that requires a butt on cushion test.  I suppose we fared better than some.

another view of online couch purchase from Joybird
A closer up shot for ya.  I made the rectangular pillows and the furry Lisann covers are from Ikea.
So that’s our Joybird experience.  Mixed.  Yeah they went above and beyond to rectify the situation but they also allowed a poor quality piece to leave their factory in the first place.  And in total, this all took five plus months.

review of Joybird Hyland sectional couch
As you can see, it's still not quite 100% right.  Sigh.
Have you ordered big furniture pieces online without seeing them first?  What was your experience?  Let me know, I’m curious!

And all right, all right, ok, to be fair and honest, below is how the couch is normally every day.  Covered in blankets, for its, and our, protection.  And covered in dog.  Who eats both meals there.  Heh.

everyday view of the Joybird couch and Lula rug
Please do not pin this picture.  Thank you.
*The P Purlove Modern Wood Coffee Table is an Amazon affiliate link.  Mwah, thanks!  Please see the "boring stuf" tab for more info.

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